IN MEMORIUM

I do not often write to eulogize, but today I learned of the death of a valued friend and professional who greatly influenced my life, career and how I responded to bereaved persons. Sister Jane Marie Lamb died in the Spring of this year, leaving behind a legacy few of us will match in our lifetimes. For years she headed the organization she founded, SHARE, which grew from a few grieving parents to an international organization, providing parent to parent support upon the death of stillborns, miscarriages and newborns.

While I corresponded with her for a number of years, I first met her in person at a conference I chaired in 1985 in Akron OH. I found in her a quality I have found in few persons: a deep committment to her faith, a dedicated pursuit of living her faith, and a committment in her own way to Christ. While we are of differing faiths, and would have stood opposed to each other's doctrines at points, her great love for parents and other people, her patient and genuine kindness, will always be remembered. I met her when I was a brand new Christian and was inspired to really walk in the Word by her example. She was a giant of the heart, and always made sure that parent's spiritual needs were met at conferences, not willing to leave their care entirely to psychology and theory.

Jane Marie had another quality, so rare today in competitive academics and medicine: she tendered her heart towards we who were younger in the field, encouraging, building up and providing willing comraderie unparalleled for one so widely known in my experience. She provided myself and others ready encouragement and opportunities, once even allowing me to take her place at a keynote address, when she would have by far been the favored choice.

In a field which became very competitive and which occasionally lost focus of love for grieving parents in favor of research and diagnosis, she was never competitive or lost sight of that most significant goal. Her testimony and work led Congress to target a remembrance day in October for the 40,000 parents a year who lose an infant. Her inspiration led to many in the field picking up the banner and baton of genuineness in bereavement counseling, and her example has aided in the development of hospital-community care and understand of deaths which before her presence, were often forgotten.

While we stayed friends for years after, I lost touch with her about 10 or 12 years ago, but her loving presence stayed always in my memory, forming and shaping my own beliefs about comfort and care in mourning. I have nothing but sadness at her passing: she was the tender heart and leader of the movement to comfort grieving parents.